A Burglary
Edina Loo
P4/6
Lightning threatened to tear the night sky. The wind howled and leaves rustled. Soon, it was raining. The rain poured in torrents and trees bowed their crowns and stooped their branches as the torrential rain poured upon them. It was a rainy night. Not a single soul was in sight. The pale yellow moon, nestled comfortably among twinkling stars, glowed brightly.
Just then, a shadow moved. It belonged to the notorious burglar, Tek Ah Hock. He was tall and burly and his hair was long and greasy. His eyes were small and malicious. That night, he planned to burgle a newly-wed couple’s, Mr and Mrs Tans’, bungalow. He hurried to their house and with nimble fingers, he pried open the lock of the door deftly.
As he entered the house, he saw many antiques. He opened his big, black bag and put all the antiques inside noiselessly.
Ah Hock then crept up the stairs, and proceeded stealthily to Mr and Mrs Tan’s bedroom. He opened the door without a sound. He smiled maliciously when he saw the young couple fast asleep in their large bed. The burglar started opening drawer after drawer, pulling out everything he saw. Amazingly, he managed to ransack soundlessly. His eyes widened at the sight of glittering jewellery and thick wads of notes. He rubbed his hands gleefully. “I’m rich! I’m rich!” He rejoiced at his new-found wealth.
Out of the blue, THUD! The law-breaker had accidentally pushed the telephone. Mr and Mrs Tan woke up with a fright. The moment Mr Tan, a muscular personal trainer, saw Ah Hock, he pinned Ah Hock to the ground effortlessly while Mrs Tan snatched her cellphone and punched in the familiar number of the police:999, calmly.
Lightning threatened to tear the night sky. The wind howled and leaves rustled. Soon, it was raining. The rain poured in torrents and trees bowed their crowns and stooped their branches as the torrential rain poured upon them. It was a rainy night. Not a single soul was in sight. The pale yellow moon, nestled comfortably among twinkling stars, glowed brightly.
Just then, a shadow moved. It belonged to the notorious burglar, Tek Ah Hock. He was tall and burly and his hair was long and greasy. His eyes were small and malicious. That night, he planned to burgle a newly-wed couple’s, Mr and Mrs Tans’, bungalow. He hurried to their house and with nimble fingers, he pried open the lock of the door deftly.
As he entered the house, he saw many antiques. He opened his big, black bag and put all the antiques inside noiselessly.
Ah Hock then crept up the stairs, and proceeded stealthily to Mr and Mrs Tan’s bedroom. He opened the door without a sound. He smiled maliciously when he saw the young couple fast asleep in their large bed. The burglar started opening drawer after drawer, pulling out everything he saw. Amazingly, he managed to ransack soundlessly. His eyes widened at the sight of glittering jewellery and thick wads of notes. He rubbed his hands gleefully. “I’m rich! I’m rich!” He rejoiced at his new-found wealth.
Out of the blue, THUD! The law-breaker had accidentally pushed the telephone. Mr and Mrs Tan woke up with a fright. The moment Mr Tan, a muscular personal trainer, saw Ah Hock, he pinned Ah Hock to the ground effortlessly while Mrs Tan snatched her cellphone and punched in the familiar number of the police:999, calmly.
After what seemed like an eternity, the men in blue finally arrived. They arrested the outlaw and returned the relieved couple their valuables. The police then took the criminal away. The law-breaker gave Mr and Mrs Tan an angry glare from the car window. The next day, the police informed Mr and Mrs Tan that Ah Hock would be getting his just deserts in a few days’ time.
Indeed, this is also a lesson we should all learn: Make sure that we install burglar alarms in our homes and keep our valuables in safes.
Strengths: Appropriate words and a range of vocabulary used. A variety of words is used to describe the same person. (Eg: Burglar, outlaw, lawbreaker, criminal) Composition is full of emotions! Well done. Mark: 17/20
Indeed, this is also a lesson we should all learn: Make sure that we install burglar alarms in our homes and keep our valuables in safes.
Strengths: Appropriate words and a range of vocabulary used. A variety of words is used to describe the same person. (Eg: Burglar, outlaw, lawbreaker, criminal) Composition is full of emotions! Well done. Mark: 17/20
4 comments:
"clap,clap"
WOW! This is like the best piece of writing i have ever seen! :)
whoohoo! super! fantastic!
wowwy!like a pro!
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